Saturday, November 19, 2011

Old

It's funny how things hit you all of a sudden.  Hannah's been growing out her hair and her bangs since June when she had her last trim.  It's very chaotic and messy, as you would expect it to be.  It's funny how I'd completely forgotten what a pain growing out bangs is.  That must be subconsciously why I never gave Norah any. 

At any rate, Hannah's hair is just getting long enough to pull back most of it.  So today she was practicing putting in her own ponytail, and with her hair pulled back, and her bangs loose, she suddenly looked 4 years older, easily.  Sometimes she smiles a certain way, and I just know I'm seeing a glimpse of what she'll look like as a teenager.  It's scary to me.  I still think of her as such a little girl, but in reality she's almost 7, which IS still little.  Not like newborn little, or even 3 year old little.  Seems like she's not little enough anymore.  She can do everything herself, make her own decisions about what to wear/do/eat.  She can even make her own breakfast most mornings.  I've lost my first baby and she's been replaced with this big kid who is so self sufficient and wonderful sometimes.  I'm at a loss for how to reconcile myself to this.  She's not a baby and I have to let her grow up, I don't get a choice.  And yet, somehow I'd almost like to go back to when she was 2 and her world revolved around this house and her family.

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